Has Any Ever Actually Measured the Hundred Acre Woods?

Thanksgiving. How can that day come and go without acknowledgement? Some holidays, like St. Vitus Day, are easy to circumvent, but when the name of the day itself calls for us to take stock and give thanks, well then, that's what we all should do.

When I was in grad school, the research, and research stats classes prepped me for developing an empirical study for my thesis. I spent hours reading abstracts, and primary source documents on my chosen topic, always looking for the missing piece, the flaw in the logic, the failed syllogism, or faulty enthymeme. The practice can become habitual if not kept in check. Heck, by the time I was ready to analyze the data I had recovered from my experiment, I had become so skilled at fault finding that I could have found a flaw in the Hope diamond if necessary (there isn't one is there?)

Believe me, the habit can get on people's nerves, even make some run for cover. For years, I had a tremendous sparring partner in Ron, a local attorney. He certainly outranked me in complexity, knowledge, timing and wit, but together we could clear the room quickly once one of us initiated a "discussion." I know he allowed me to score points, and even let me win on occasion (mostly when he was tired), but those times kept my eyes and ears sharp. I am aware that I don't always use that acquired talent to delve, question, and doubt judiciously. Despite that, amazingly so, I managed to make, and retain, friends.

So, this day, I am thankful for Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. Really, I am fortunate to have, in my life, any number of people who "just want to be sure." We drift in and out of one another's lives for a variety of reasons, sometimes with hopes and expectations, but most often, without. They don't question why I do or do not call, but accept the notion that I might (most likely will) look for sub-text in their messages. No one wonders what I mean when I ask "What's up?", but know it is best to simply say "hello" when we meet. If they furrow their brow, I know they probably have a headache; they know my furrowed brow means I'm stuck on something. They put up with my moods, buy into my half-baked schemes and dreams, and appear out of nowhere to prop me up when needed.

I'm lucky they put up with me, and when they sidle up beside me, I am more thankful than they'll ever know to have them there...just checking in...just staying connected...just making sure.

Six Puppies and One Disgruntled Elf

SHHHHH! The puppies are sleeping! Huh? I have discovered the most charming website. Actually, you can access it in a lot of ways. http://www.ustream.tv/channel/shiba-inu-puppy-cam. You can try that link, but if it doesn't work, try a Yahoo or Google search by typing in Cute puppies:the most popular live-streaming video of all time? and you will find it.

A family has placed a twenty-four hour web cam on their shiba inu puppies. Beware, this site is addicting. You can watch these six little darlin's play, nap, wrestle, nap, squirt, nap. Honestly, our book group watched them for thirty minutes last Friday. The pups did nothing but sleep, with an occassional stretch, whimper, ear flick, or tiny foot movement. Eventually, one woke up and wanted to play in the worst way. He tried nudging the others awake. When that didn't work, he went from pup to pup and chewed on their tails. He walked across them, pounced on them, and hollered at them. Nothing worked. They were nestled in for the night. Finally, in desperation, he chose a victim, grabbed her by the collar and did one of those ferocious shaking maneuvers that dogs do to their toys. Nothing. In frustration, he walked out of the doggie bedroom, into an area off camera where there is a large, fenced in play area. I am sure he was sulking.

The first thing I did this morning when I came in was check on them. They have grown since Friday. I am afraid some will be leaving soon. I better start naming them before they go!

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A few weeks ago, Rhonda showed up...just a weekend trip from New York back to where she belongs! Rhonda is a former student, now friend, and Heart-A-Rama pal. She just finished her MFA in Marketing, and is committed to her current company for two more years. Maybe after that she'll come home! Anyway, she recently went to a David Sedaris reading, and brought me an autographed copy of his Holiday book. Some sort of happy accident occurred, and Rhonda was able to spend about a half hour visiting with Sedaris one-on-one. When he signed my book he mentioned that "Bev" would be a nice name for a llama.

Sedaris is one of my faves. He makes me laugh right out loud, which I avoid doing since I have one of those goofy, snorty sorts of laughs that either makes people sick, or makes them laugh along. Since it's time to dig into some holiday reading (and watching old movies like "Christmas in Connecticut"), Holiday on Ice is first up. For years I tried to read a Shakespeare and a Dickens a year, but that was short lived. And, after playing Mrs. Crathit in "A Christmas Carol" for more years than I can count, I can recite that Dickens work without cracking the book open.

This collection includes a Sedaris classic, "The Santaland Diaries.' This almost honest, semi-semi- autobiographic essay finds Sedaris returning to live in Manhattan, broke, and for some reason, basically unemployable. At age 33, he eventually finds a job - as an elf at Macy's. From there the fun begins. Think about the scene in "A Christmas Story" where Ralphie, desperate to ask Santa for a Red Rider BB gun, is faced with a collection of seemingly demented elves, and a not to friendly Santa. Sedaris' experiences were not far from that, except that he was on the demented and not too friendly side of the situation.

Other essays in the collection include tales of detailing the nuances of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French, what Halloween looks like at the medical examiners office, the puzzling Christmas traditions of other nations, and a brand new story about a barnyard Secret Santa gone awry.

Sure, a lot of people consider David Sedaris low-brow, a bit offensive, and not of lasting literary quality. But I say, anyone who can hold his own with both Davie Letterman, and Ira Glass is OK in my book. So, if you like a little edge with your eggnog, Sedaris is your guy.

Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave

Reading Bryson's biography of William Shakespeare clued me in on how much I don't know about England's most famed and respected playwright and poet. Take the cover portrait, for example. It is one of three images believed to be of Shakespeare, although there are questions about whether this, or any of the three, are actually him. Although painted by a skilled artist of the time, the above portrait has many peculiarities. Notice how one eye is larger than the other, and his hair is longer on one side. Bryson also points out how oddly his head seems to be floating above his collar.

Bryson notes eighteen different spellings of the writer's name, and cites that, of the remaining signatures on official documents such as deeds and marriage license, not one uses the spelling we have come to accept. Of course, there is the never-ending discussion of who really wrote his plays, and Bryson offers some fascinating research on that as well. To top it off, there is evidence to support that we have been mispronouncing the fellow's name incorrectly, and that it may actually be "shockspear."

All of that got me digging for a fun piece I often shared with my students entitled "Life in the 1500's." Shakespeare lived from 1564-1616, so this way my clever way of getting them into the Elizabethan mindset. The source used (and which was used every other English teacher I knew at the time) provided explanations for common phrases that grew out of the time period, along with some surprising historical facts. Here are a couple for you:

• Anne Hathaway, Shakespeare's wife, shared her bed with two sisters and six servant girls. They slept on the bed crosswise. Another bed in the Hathaway household was frequently occupied by her brothers, and up to sixty servants.
  
• June was established as the traditional wedding month in the middle ages. The yearly bath was generally in May, so women were still smelling pretty sweet in June.
  

• In order to keep warm, small domestic animals slept in the thatched roofs of cottages. A heavy rain could bore holes in the thatch, and the animals would fall through, giving us the phrase "It's raining cats and dogs."
  

• Parts of Great Britain were short on burial space, and often, graves were dug up, and bodies were disposed of to make room for the newly deceased. Scratch marks were found on the inner lids of many coffins, leading people to fear being buried alive. To calm these fears, a string was tied to the finger of the dead person, and attached to a bell on the outside of the grave. People were hired to walk through the cemetery at night, listening for bells. So, that gave us "graveyard shift" and "Saved by the bell."

These bits of odd history led to lots of questions, and resulted in some eagerness to jump into whatever Shakespeare play was on the docket. Of course, after reading the first couple scenes of any play, I prepared for the big question. "Ms. D. why do they all have to talk so stupid? I can't understand anything they are saying?" From there, I asked Kid A what he didn't understand. "Well, I don't get the part where Antonio says he can't lend Bassanio any money because his money is all tied up in his ships."

Kid B would tell me that she could not understand the part where Portia was telling Nerissa what was wrong with all the men that had come "wooing," and Kid C was struggling with Shylock wanting a pound of flesh as guarantee that his loan would be repaid. Within 15 minutes, they had spilled all their nervousness out upon the desk tops. Whining about the language, the characters, the symbolism...all they while, clearly indicating that they knew exactly what was going on in the play.

I had to do some digging to come up with these examples for you, and guess what I found? All those years that I (and others) were prepping minds to absorb the greatness of the bard, we were actually entertaining them with fictional material. Yup. Every credible source I came across while searching agrees that the "Life in the 1500's" document was all just a fun hoax. For a capsule version of research that debunks these and other medieval/Elizabethan claims, you can check outhttp://www.blogger.com/www.snopes.com/language/phrases/1500.asp. If you are so inclined, this website will lead you to many others with formal, extensive, and documented explanations.

**********Did you know that Roald Dahl of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fame, was also a British spy? It's true. You can read all about it in The Irregulars:Roald Dahl and the British Spy Ring in Wartime Washington, by Jennet Conant. Or, for a lighter, and certainly a sassier take on Dahl's life, pick up his autobiography, Boy. Dahl's account of his life isn't so much a comprehensive portrait, but rather an episodic glimpse into the people, and events that stand out for him. If you are a fan of his work, you will see where many of your favorite characters originated.

**********The Taffetas are working real hard to tidy up their December 4-7 show at UW-Manitowoc. You can get a sneak preview of their show here on Nov. 22, right after author Lesley Kagan reads and signs...about 12:15. Yesterday, we started working on a barbershop number with some tricky hat- passing choreography. That number is going to be fun. The challenge right now is to keep them from tying their arms in knots. Sometimes I sit back and marvel at what these four women are doing. People might think that doing a four person musical would be easier than a bigger show, but when you think about it, four people are doing the work normally done by 15-20 people. That is a huge undertaking. Except for intermission, and one brief off stage moment in Act I, they are on stage singing, dancing, or speaking for the entire show.

When a director has the privilege of working with actors who bring so much talent, skill, and intuition to the stage, it is natural to keep pushing to see how much farther they can stretch. That is the point we're at right now. All I can say is that so far I haven't made anyone cry(that I know of) and they continue to stretch beyond my initial vision for the show. I am afraid they have far outstretched my creative parameters...I tried to do some fancy tap dancing to outwit them, but I think they're on to me!

The Gargoyle...and More

I have said this before, but here goes once more...nothing beats being a neighborhood bookstore! Over the years, we have become just another neighbor here on 17th and New York Ave. Watchful eyes worry when someone comes in a few minutes late, and always check to see if anything is wrong. We have neighborhood snow shovelers, lawn mowers, frequent customers, who have grown to be friends, and a cheerful bunch of store babies, each with big eyes, big smiles and big personalities. And many of them paraded through here Trick or Treating. Oh, we had quite an assortment...there were jungle animals, gypsies, Star Wars characters, even a cheerleader dripping with blood!

Here are a couple of our neighborhood friends.

Look. Even a witch doctor stopped by!

Back at the homestead, trick or treating was a little lighter and quieter. My traditional "Pinhead" pumpkin graced the front porch, and I forced the beast to wear the same costume she has worn for the past five years...a little green hat that is never in the right spot. Usually, she's a annoyingly yippy when anything disrupts her schedule, but on Friday, she took her greeter stance for most of the night.

I finished The Gargoyle this weekend...finally. Horror is not my usual genre of choice, but this book was more than horror. The author, Andrew Davidson, tells a fine story, and it was not the primary plot that kept me riveted. Woven into the story of the burn victim and his mysterious visitor, are mini-epics about ancient battles, morality tales, and one of the most wrenching love stories I have ever read. In an earlier post, I may have mentioned that his perfect, but gruelling details kept slowing me down. I can only take so much description of life threatening accidents, and painful medical procedures before I have to take a break and read something calmer. However, Davidson senses when comic relief is needed. At one point, I was ready to give it up entirely, when he broke the tension with a nicely turned, and very funny phrase. An unwanted visitor arrives on the scene and we immediately understand that she is controlling, powerful, smug, and intimidating. Then Davidson describes her physically as an "anthropomorhic butterball turkey,"...perfectly juxtaposed against the pages and pages of intense character and plot development.

Would I recommend this book? Yes. And I would go so far as to say that Stephen King and Ann Rice have some fresh, skilled, quality competition. But, my guess is that for many high profile writers, competition simply offers a nice, big challenge, and and I just bet that King and rice are revving up to go out to kick some butt with the next wildly concocted tale of good verses evil.

So, now I'm on to Boy by Raul Dahl, and working to finish Bill Bryson's Shakespeare.

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The Taffetas keep getting better and better. I have an MP3 recording of a couple songs, and if I ever figure out how to attach them to this blog, you can have a sneak preview. Or...just stop by LaDeDa on Nov. 22. Lesley Kagan will be reading from Land of a Hundred Wonders at 11:00, and the Taffetas will sing a few songs right after she is done. More to come on that soon